Stories about hope

It was a 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓲𝓯𝓾𝓵 Summer Day in the San Fernando Valley.  I was  in 6^th grade and had been invited to a friend’s house. We spent the day swimming and later we were going to go for a bike ride.  

My friend had a really COOL 𝕾𝖈𝖍𝖜𝖎𝖓𝖓 Bicycle, complete with a banana seat, super cool late 1970’s handlebars & 𝙜𝙡𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 streamers attached to the hand grips. 

UNFORTUNATELY, this was 𝙣𝙤𝙩 the bike I was going to use. I was to use her 𝙤𝙡𝙙 bike, NO banana seat, NO streamers, it was J A N K Y & was held together by a prayer. I hid my disappointment the best I could & off we went. 

We were riding along, enjoying the wind in our hair. I became more confident than I should have on her broken-down-rusty old bicycle. After we had been riding around her neighborhood for a while, the old handlebars came loose. I lost control and over the top of the bike I went. I landed in a heap on the street with my chin taking the brunt of my fall. 

As Gσԃ would have it I landed in front a sweet woman’s house who happened to be a nurse. She scooped me up, got me inside, tended to my injuries, and called my home so someone could come get me. 

I was a HOT mess by the time my big brother arrived in the family car (the checker cab) His little sister was a sweaty, bloody, ｉｎｃｏｎｓｏｌａｂｌｅ mess. Not because of the mess of my chin (although that hurt badly), but because hiding inside my mouth was part of a tooth that had broken during the fall. 

𝕀 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕓𝕚𝕘 𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕓𝕝𝕖.

Mom had a lot of strange sayings when we were growing up. One of her strange sayings was “If you break a tooth, I’ll break your arm.” Needless to say, I was 𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖗𝖎𝖋𝖎𝖊𝖉.

Another thing she used to say was, “Under NO circumstances are you to wake me up”.  What she meant was “Keep the noise down so I can sleep.”

However, she 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣’𝙩 𝙨𝙖𝙮, “you can wake me up if your sister splits her chin open.”

To us kids this saying was an ALL, or nothing type deal. 

She worked the nightshift as a labor & delivery nurse and her sleep was NOT to be interrupted.  She was ALSO in the early stages of MS, and she needed every ounce of sleep to make it through her work schedule. Add to all of that, she was a single mom as my dad had passed from Cancer. She flat out 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓮𝓭 her sleep. 

My big brother didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to get in 𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓫𝓵𝓮 for waking our mom.  But he ALSO saw that perhaps his littlest sister needed her face sewn back together. So 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕨𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕥, on the top of the stairs, me crying and bleeding and him in complete 𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙢𝙤𝙞𝙡 of how to handle the situation. 

At some point during my brothers internal conflict , her “mom senses” must have gone off. She woke up, came out of her room and 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 us sitting on the stairs. 

Seeing the disaster of my chin and realizing what had taken place, she of course wasn’t mad, but she did ask why IN THE WORLD we didn’t wake her up.

My brother didn’t really know how to answer that question “Uh, because… I didn’t want to die today?”  

It wasn’t until I was in the ER, still crying and afraid to open my mouth for the Dr to check to see if I was having issues with my jaw, that my mom discovered that my 𝖙𝖔𝖔𝖙𝖍 had broken. 

She asked me why I didn’t tell her “Uh, 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝐼 𝒹𝒾𝒹𝓃’𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀 𝓂𝓎 𝒶𝓇𝓂?” 

The look on her face was of complete compassion and complete amusement. 

“Oh Edie, I am not mad about the tooth. It’s OK. We will get you all fixed up”. 

That night we were to have dinner with one of her friends from work. Her friend was from the middle east. I remember looking at the glorious spread of Kabobs, Hummus, Pita bread and rice. I was so sad when I tried to eat but my sore jaw, chin and tooth prevented me. I sat at the table, stomach growling and head hurting. It had been a rough day and now I couldn’t even eat dinner. I don’t remember crying, but I do remember laying on a couch and being miserable. 

Every few years I think about that summer day. I understand NOW why she was that crazy about us not breaking our teeth. 

She too had a big fall when she was young. That fall knocked out her 3 front teeth and had to wear 𝕕𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕤ever since. She simply didn’t want us to have to go through what 𝓢𝓱𝓮 went through So, she thought maybe threatening us was a good idea to keep us in check?

My tooth has been problematic ever since that fall & every so often my “crown” falls out or breaks and I have to speedy quick get it fixed because “pain”. 

The “every so often” day reminds me of that summer day and causes me to pause and think about what my mom went through. 

Being a mom is 𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓭 work. Being a single mom is 𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓭 work. She was working 𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓭 to keep us fed and clothed and it was 𝓈𝒾𝓂𝓅𝓁𝓎 a lot. 

My tooth hasn’t been troublesome for a couple years. I’m grateful that it seems to be holding together this time. I’m off to the dentist for a regular checkup and I’m glad because it is in fact a hassle to get it fixed, it ｈｕｒｔｓ. There are shots, a drill, and yikes! 

I think about my mom and her passion to 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕥𝕖𝕔𝕥 her children.  Although I don’t tell my kids “I’ll break your arm” if you break a tooth”. I do say things like “be careful” or “drive safely”, “wear a seatbelt” more often than my kids can appreciate

I am also 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 when a child who isn’t home as much now that he’s grown awakens me late at night to just to say “𝗛𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗼 “.

My mom worked nights as a labor and delivery nurse. I have also worked very early in the morning  for years so I could be Ｈｏｍｅ with my young boys during the day.  When I was working those crazy hours, my sleep was so important. My husband was able to keep the boys from doing anything too crazy. But I understand why her need for sleep was even 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 important than mine. 

We had a 𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 time as kids. We didn’t understand why mom got so mad about what seemed to be 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 things. But I get it now. She was having a 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 time. 

I do smile now when I think about her, and her mom tactics that were an attempt to keep us safe. We were basically latch key kids and she worried about us A 𝙡𝙤𝙩. 

Every now and then I say something my mom would say. Or “hear” my mom’s voice coming out of my mouth. It’s an interesting feeling to “get” what your mom had gone through. 

I’m not a single parent. I have an incredible support system in my husband’s family. 

I didn’t have to leave my kids for hours to work so I could provide for them. 

She had it rough.

A L L these years later, I 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 understand her heart ❤️

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.” Exodus 20: 12

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”  Ephesians 6:1