Stories about hope

He was a skinny second grader. More importantly he was MY 2nd grader. I sat in my car as I watched it unfold. My breath caught in my throat as my child was being hassled by a 4th grader. My first thought was to jump from my car and intervene. My hand was on the door handle, and I was ready. 

“Wait, just watch”. 

There were kids everywhere and even a few teachers. “Doesn’t anyone see that? That 4th grade kid is being really mean to my 2nd grade son” 

“Wait, it’s going to be ok, just watch”

Suddenly, a much bigger 6th grade boy appeared- he stepped in front of the 4th grader possibly chest bumping him but definitely giving him that “make my day” look.

I don’t know if any words were exchanged but the 4th grader left the scene fast. 

I heard the bigger guy say to my second grader, “Come on Brandon, let’s go to the car”.

My oldest son Evan saw the whole thing and he stepped in and stood up for his brother. I don’t think I said a word the whole way home. 

There are many times the memory of that moment came back to me – when I need to know someone had my back. 

God sees. 

He hears. 

When you can’t stand up for yourself, He stands up for you. Trust me on this. He will fight for you. Trust Him at His word.

There are bullies in this world. It’s just the way it is. I’m not sure what makes people be so unkind to others. Especially when they don’t really know you. I am convinced that they must be hurting deeply on the inside to have to lash out at others. I am sure that they aren’t my enemy but as my Pastor would say “They are prisoners of war”. What is going on inside their head? Why are they so miserable that they have to behave so poorly. They act like they are “Giants” but I wonder if they are just cowards who need some sort of victory so they pick on presumed weakness.

I have been bullied more times than I can count. Not just as a kid, the awkward red headed girl. But even as an adult who still feels awkward more often than I care to admit. 

 I have been bullied as recently as last night. 

I have a hard time speaking when I am on the other side of a heated discussion. I am not quick to retort when people attack my character or accuse me of wrongdoing. There are times when I trip over my words. My mouth doesn’t open and when I try to speak, I have a stammer. It’s a mental thing. I also have a hard time enunciating my words. It’s not quite a lisp but it’s pretty close.

In college, my favorite professor told us at the beginning of a class that our “final” would be an oral exam. We would sit in a round table and he would pepper us to see if we truly knew the material we studied over the year.

I panicked. I asked for an appointment immediately.

I had taken a class of his previously and had done quite well. I had one of the highest scores on our final paper. I can write my thoughts easily.

Speaking them is another story.

I explained to “Bruce” that I would not do well on an Oral Exam. He didn’t know me well at this point so he was pretty hard on me.

“It’s required”

So I proceeded to tell him the difficulty I had with public speaking. I explained that I had to withdraw from another class because we had to speak a chapter from the book of Romans, word-for-word at the beginning of every class.

I told him my thoughts would get garbled up and that I would either say something completely wrong or not be able to speak at all.

As the end of the class approached I reminded him about my “problem”. I had a solid “A” at this point and he assured me there was no way I could tank that badly.

I did.

I will never forget the look on his face. It was if he was seeing a freak show unfold right before him. His eyebrows raised, his mouth opened a bit. And then the look of “Wow, was she ever right, she’s a disaster right now”.

He had me stay after the test.

“You were right, I am so sorry”

I was able to stay, mop up my tears, stop my shaking, gather my thoughts, and write out all the answers I couldn’t say on the spot. I passed the class.

When I feel like I am being “attacked”, I forget words, I cannot think straight. It’s as if my mind and my mouth don’t coordinate their efforts. Of course, I am able to come up with the words much later, when I am alone with my thoughts. It’s the most frustrating thing. Maybe it’s best I don’t say anything. 

#WeaknessIsNotACharacterFlaw

#ItForcesUsToDependOnJesus

#HisGraceIsSufficient

Last night a man saw my stammer and dug right into me. He accused me of lying because I couldn’t speak, I repeatedly said that he was not being kind. That he was bullying me.

I told him that it was difficult for me to defend / argue my point when I am being attacked like he was attacking me with his words. I told him I stammer and that he needed to back down. However, he kept digging at me. 

Thankfully, another person understood and realized that the other man was in fact going to get himself in big trouble if he didn’t stop his unprofessional and down right mean behavior. 

After the fact I was so frustrated with myself. I was so frustrated with my weakness. I was so frustrated that even now as a I asked God to gift me with swift speech so many times, that prayer has not been answered. I don’t know why. 

It bothered me so much that sleep evaded me most of the night. 

I felt like I lost a battle, like a skinny second grade child who facing a much larger opponent was completely outmatched.

When I am feeling particularly weak, I tell myself to remember the Lion & Bear stories of my youth. The times that God fought for me. The times I needed to go to the brook, gather 5 smooth stones and put them in my bag. I remember David of the Bible. 

In first Samuel 17 we find the Philistines gathered for battle at Succoth, which belonged to Judah. King Saul and the men of Israel were gathered and camped in the valley of Elah. They were ready for war with the Philistines. 

The Philistines were on one side and Israel stood on the other side with a valley between them. 

The Philistines had a champion named Goliath. The dude was huge. He was dressed in some impressive and scary looking armor. 

Goliath would taunt the Israelites, he wanted to fight somebody. 

The Israelites were terrified. 

Enter David. Youngest son of Jesse the shepherd of his father’s flock. 

Three of David’s brothers had gone after King Saul to the battle. 

For 40 days Goliath taunted Israel. 

Jesse sent David to his brothers with provisions and asked David to bring back news of his family. 

David leaves his flock with a keeper, takes the supplies and finds the camp of Israel. David runs to find his brothers in the battle line. 

While he is talking to them Goliath comes out and speaks the words he has spoken day after day. 

            “Send someone out to fight me. If he is able to fight with me and kill me, then we will become your servants; but if I prevail against him and kill him, then you will become our servants.”

Then David asks a question. 

            “What will be done for the man who kills Goliath? For who is this man that taunts the armies of the living God?” (verse 26) 

David’s brothers didn’t appreciate their “little” brother at this moment.

So of course, David moves on and starts asking other men who were in the army until word of this young David guy finally reaches King Saul. 

Saul sends for David, and David tells Saul that he will go and fight Goliath. 

Saul points out the obvious, “But you’re a kid!”

And this is where David tells Saul his “Lion and Bear” stories. 

David is a shepherd. Most of the time I would imagine he got incredibly bored. 

He had a staff to guide the sheep and a sling(shot) to protect them with. 

Not much. 

David tells Saul “When a lion or a bear came and took a lamb from the flock, I went out after him and attacked him, and rescued it from his mouth; and when he rose up against me, I seized him by his beard and struck him and killed him. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, since he has taunted the armies of the living God”. 1 Samuel 17:34 – 36

And David said, “The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.” 

Somehow these lion and bear stories are enough to convince Saul to let this young man named David go up against the beast of a man who has been trained in battle since he was able to walk. 

There are so many things to gather from this amazing story of bravery. So many things we learn about Saul, so many things we learn about David. 

The main thing I get from this is: 

1. David believed in God
2. David believed in his own abilities. 

David had spent hours out in the fields. No books, no WIFI, no Instagram or Facebook. What did he likely do while he was out there? 

He practiced the tools that would help him protect his sheep. 

He practiced and practiced and practiced and practiced. 

He became an expert at using a sling(shot) he became an expert with his staff. 

So, when he told Saul his lion and bear stories. His demeanor must have indicated confidence. 

“Look, Saul. I’m the best in this whole territory with a sling.”

I doubt that’s what he said but he was convincing. 

He believed so much in his own abilities that he declined using tools that he wasn’t an expert in. He didn’t put on a new uniform; he didn’t wear the king’s armor. 

“He took his stick in his hand and chose for himself five smooth stones from the brook and put them in the shepherd’s bag which he had, even in his pouch, and his sling was in his hand; as he approached the Philistine.” Vs 40

Goliath got a big kick out of this good-looking young man. 

The Philistine said to David, “Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?”

David’s weapons were ridiculous, it didn’t matter. God uses foolish tools in the hands of weak people to build His kingdom.  

David exuded confidence. But even though he was confident in his abilities, he was more confident in his God. 

“You come to me with a sword, a spear, and a javelin (and a really big ego) but I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have taunted. This day the LORD will deliver you into my hands” v 45, 46

It will be such a mighty victory 

“That all the earth will know that there is a God in Israel. And this entire army will see that the LORD does not deliver by sword or by spear; for the battle is the LORD’s and He will give you into our hands.” V 47

David had 5 stones ready, but it only took one. 

He has our back! We can do anything in His strength. 

Once I Saw a meme that said, “Pray and let God worry” While I get that they mean “Let God handle it” I had a hard time imagining God sitting in heaven wringing His hands, the hands that created THE WORLD saying “OH, I don’t know how she is going to get through this one” 

When I am faced with giants in my life, I need to tell myself the stories of the times God delivered me from the Lions and the Bears. I need to be ready for battle. Confident. Fully focused on the God of angel armies. 

God doesn’t worry. 

He is God. 

Trust Him. 

He’s got this.

“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still” Exodus 14:14

#GodIsBiggerThanTheBogeyman

#InTheMiddleOfTheStormIAm